Overlooked?

What is it about feeling overlooked, unimportant, benign, unrecognizable that hits at our deepest insecurities?

It's that whole paradigm of growing up wanting to be the same as everyone else...and then somewhere along the way we decide that we want to stand out. These oddities that are our personality are actually what define us as people and make us stand out. Why do we fight against the feeling of....ordinary?

My initial (admitedly negative) response is that, perhaps, I am...and so I should just get over it. It's like that proverb a man's life is like a blade of grass...whithers and dies in a day (paraphrase) - wow, that Soloman dude really was wise...and an incredible pessimist. My life is like a freakin' plant that you ditch at the end of the season. Very...comforting.

And yet at the end of Solomon's tyraid - of life and all of it's let downs and meaninglessness he says that God is what it's all about. That God unveils every hidden thing in our life to reveal that which is substantial...i.e. everlasting. Is my shining personality part of God's eternal plan...probably not as much as I'd like to think so...unless my shinning personality is one that communicates love and hope to someone that is looking for more.

As hard as it is on me...I suppose that it becomes less about me and my need to feel important...even to a point of appreciatiation (which is really hard...and I'm by no means demeaning it's real hurt and pain)...and more about my effort to reflect the opportunity of grace that I've been given. Perhaps, then in some ironic twist...the legacy that I've been trying to leave with my personality...lives on in the hope of future generations living an eternal life because I shifted the focus from me to my creator.